A Couple Evolves When They Bet On Conscious Growth

We are living in a moment in which relationships are undergoing a major redesign, at least in its concept. The truth is that the current paradigm is not working. Many people are unsatisfied in love, many people do not know what to do to make a relationship work because a good part of the traditional thread that ordered experiences and feelings in this context has expired.

But, where to focus that change that we need to have a satisfactory relationship? As with many other things, when traditional norms break down, something new takes its place. When it comes to relationships, the new emerging trend is conscious relationship.

The problem of traditional relationships

Are you in love or just matched ? Too often, the second part of the dichotomy is what happens in traditional relationships. Most of us, based on seeing it in the couples around us, in movies or on reality shows , we have learned that love is something designed for personal satisfaction and that we have to work so that the relationship is maintained.

Generally, this job of maintaining the relationship is done by appeasing the other. Thus, over time, the sense of who we are is lost due to what we have had to do to maintain the relationship. In that process, many people become someone else, too often someone they don’t want to be.

On the other hand, in traditional relationships one is so concerned with pleasing the other that he ends up repressing his instincts, as  well as his feelings, desires and aspirations, and even fears and apprehensions. To the same extent, we expect the other to do the same, that is, to live to please us.

Towards a new paradigm in love: the conscious relationship

The vast majority of recent relationships begin as an adventure, as a way to have fun.  During the process itself, the parties get to know each other and progress in their relationship. Yes, it is true that having relationships just for fun is something that seems to be becoming fashionable, but in the end, sooner or later, most people look for something more, it is no longer enough.

What differentiates a traditional relationship from a conscious relationship is the focus of work. In a conscious relationship, both parties feel committed to a sense of purpose. That purpose is growth, both individual growth and collective growth as a couple.

Many people seek to be in a relationship to meet their own personal needs. This may go on for a long time, but over time the relationship fails and, as a result, dissatisfaction appears.

But when two people come together with the intention of growing together, the relationship moves toward something much greater than personal gratification. Thus, the relationship becomes a journey of evolution; a fascinating journey in which both people have the opportunity to grow individually, far from the traditional ideology of “giving up to adapt”.

How to evolve into a conscious relationship

Despite all the problems that may arise, the good news is that in a couple it is possible to evolve from a relationship based on traditional ideas to a conscious relationship. In fact, a conscious relationship doesn’t just emerge. You need to get to know yourself first, even have a wide variety of experiences. You cannot fall in love with someone you do not know, you can only do it with the idea of ​​love that you try to fit into the other.

Another very different thing is living in the present moment and being aware of what is happening. This is a different and necessary vision, not only to be able to live an enriching relationship, but to make the most of every moment and grow as a person.

The growth experience is the important thing

Not being tied to the results of the relationship doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter what happens. It also doesn’t mean that you don’t have expectations about that relationship. It is about being more committed to the experience of growth as the engine of the relationship.

On the basis that people are here to grow physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, the couple’s relationship should help that growth, which should be done together. That purpose of growth must be joint, shared, because, if not, the couple’s relationship does not make sense.

Each member of the couple has their individual share of responsibility

In every relationship, wounds from the past come to light, which are activated in one way or another. In traditional relationships it is assumed that the other must compensate for deficiencies, fill gaps and bring happiness and love that was lacking before. But in conscious relationships, things don’t work that way.

The objective of the couple relationship is not to make us happy, but to make us aware. The other is not there to give you what you lack, but to help you get it. The other is not there to fill your voids in exchange for you filling theirs.

The conscious couple is willing to discover and come to terms with their past and current problems because they know that they can evolve into a new reality. But for this, it is necessary to take responsibility for feelings and beliefs, without burdening the other with a job that we are not capable of doing for ourselves.

The relationship serves to practice love

Love is the practice of acceptance, forgiveness, being present and opening the heart even in its most vulnerable areas. However, many times we treat love as if it were a destiny. This implies not being satisfied with what the relationship is until that point is reached. But love is a journey and an exploration.

The conscious partner is strongly committed to being the embodiment of love, to putting it into practice. Thus, love manifests itself in your life and in your relationship in ways unimaginable otherwise.