5 Wrong Beliefs About Parenting
When we have a son, not only he is a kind of blank book on which experiences, experiences and education will be written. As parents, we are in the same situation in many respects, as each child is different.
Thus, even if we have preconceived ideas about how to be good parents, many times we will have to rectify them. As we learn more about children, and get to know our own better, beliefs about how to educate them will change. Therefore, we must never tire of learning from our mistakes.
Here we explain some erroneous beliefs about parenting that, according to psychologists, we do not always put well into practice.
A father is never wrong
This first idea about parenting is rather a classic of the old educational school. According to this vision, parents are the total example for their children. For this reason, they can sometimes seem like perfect beings who are never wrong. But are we aware of the pressure that this creates on the little ones?
If a child looks at everything his parents do, and they are perfect, what level of demand are we placing on them? The pressure and stress that this entails for our little ones can be excessive.
On the contrary, experts don’t just know that parents are wrong. Furthermore, mistakes are a perfect opportunity to learn from them and learn valuable lessons. In fact, they will allow future reactions to similar situations to be more thoughtful and functional.
Do not say NO to the child, as he can get frustrated
Some parents believe that denying their child what they ask for is a bad idea. However, isn’t frustration a part of life? Now, does this mean that we must purposely frustrate the child to learn? The truth is that we do not have to go to either extreme. We can neither say yes to everything, nor systematically deny the child’s wishes.
If the little one has a tantrum, giving in and giving him the reason to stop protesting is not the solution. On the contrary, a firm response and an invitation to the child to think, reconsider and study his attitude usually offers better results.
It is true that it is not always easy to do this, and that in the heat of an extreme situation, it is difficult to do so. However, over time, the results are positive. This way of acting m MPROVING the behavior and attitudes of children. Parents, on the other hand, learn to stand firm in their convictions.
I know what my son needs
This is another of the most common misconceptions about parenting. Can we know exactly what our children want? Are we so empathetic and know them so much that we can enter their minds and accurately distinguish what they need and want?
People who think like this tend to fall into somewhat authoritarian attitudes. In this way, they end up ignoring what the child thinks, ending up not listening to their ideas and true needs. But, don’t you like to be listened to, accepted, valued and understood? Why would your son be different?
We should not fall into the trap of thinking that we know better than our children what they need. One of our roles as parents is to listen to their needs and try to meet them in the most effective way possible, not the way we think is right.
This activity my son will love
Sometimes we pour our wishes on them. For example, if we like soccer, we insist that they play it. We want them to be painters, writers, actors, athletes, musicians… But wouldn’t it be better to ask them first?
Perhaps our son does not have the same wishes that we do. Perhaps it is positive that you try, that you experiment on your own to see what really attracts you. Thus, you can choose those activities that will really make you happy.
We are the parents and we have the power
This is another of the erroneous beliefs about parenting that most parents share. Many discussions with them end with phrases like ‘It’s done like this because I say so’ or ‘You do this because that’s what you live at home for’. Can you imagine the helplessness and frustration that this generates in children? Have you ever tried to put yourself in their shoes?
Imagine the frustration you would feel if your boss acted this way. In the case of your children, the feeling is similar. Remember that you are only their father or mother, not their owner: although you may have more experience, the opinions of children must also be taken into account.
The truth is that, as much as it costs, you have to try to discuss with them calmly. In general, reaching a consensus with our children will always be more positive than simply punching the table.
Of course, you don’t have to believe everything you’ve just read to the letter. If you are not convinced about these misconceptions about parenting, experiment with them. In the end, the most important thing is that you get positive results in your relationship with the little ones in the house.
