9 Habits To Maintain Love

Ana is no longer happy with him. Everything that made her fall in love seems to have vanished like a smoke screen. She feels lonely, neglected … he no longer sends her messages from work with that “I’m thinking of you” or kisses her when she arrives … she wonders what happened to our love? Does ours still have a solution?

Ana has stopped trusting him and feels that there is nothing that unites them. There are no more kisses, no caresses, they hardly speak anymore, nor do they tell their things. Those little everyday things that united them so much and that made Ana feel so special. The routine, the time and perhaps the belief that everything is won, that everything is conquered, is ruining her relationship with Pedro.

Pedro doesn’t feel happy either… when he comes back from work he feels as lonely as she is; Pedro and Ana have different work hours and many times Pedro has lunch or dinner without the company of that pretty conspiratorial smile that he still remembers while taking the last bite before going to sleep. Also just… because Ana has a night shift.

This fictional story that we have just told you could reflect one of many stories of couples who are not having the best time of their relationship. But in situations like this, the only thing we can say is ours is over? Is there still a solution for us?

Love is the greatest of mysteries and the greatest of adventures  that each of us lives in a unique and special way. In love there are no recipes or magic formulas, neither for it to arise nor for it to be maintained … but perhaps love is like a small plant that we must water every day, or like that flame that sometimes burns strongly and other times is weak and small, but it should never be turned off.

It is true that magic formulas for love do not exist, but perhaps emotional intelligence applied to love can help us. Therefore, we want to present you an interesting article, published in “Psycology Today”  by psychiatrist and consultant Mark Goulston. This writer is also the author of the book :  “How to get and keep the love you deserve”, in which he shows us 9 habits that characterize happy couples. Maybe it’s not magic, but emotional intelligence …

This is the interesting list of the 9 habits that happy couples have according to Dr. Goulston:

1. They have common interests. Doing things together unites us. And doing things separately can be appropriate for our partner to see us more interesting. Also, avoid dependence on the other.

2. They trust each other and forgive each other. Holding a grudge and not forgiving you set up relationships. After a fight, when the waters calm, talking, forgiving, and trusting again is the best we can do with our partner.

3. They walk together, side by side or hand in hand. Walking together is a way of feeling that you have a common destiny, of synchronizing your steps from time to time.

4. They go to bed at the same time. At the beginning of relationships, couples usually go to bed at the same time, to be intimate, they are moments of passion protected from the erosion of time. However, when couples have been together for a long time, each one chooses their schedules … it must be trust; this does nothing but the desire to go out, the intimate contact -physical or mental- in the bedroom is important.

5. They say good morning and I love you at the beginning of the day. What better way is there to start the day and cope with the routine and stress of work and daily worries?

6. They say good night to each other before going to sleep, even if they are angry. It is a way of making our partner understand that, even if it is not the best day between us, we still love each other.

7. They call or send a message during the day. It is a good way to empathize with our partner. Knowing how your day is going is good for knowing how to act when you return.

8. They are proud to show themselves in public as a couple. They hold hands, by the waist or by the shoulder, what matters is that they want to make their love public, that they are proud to be with each other.

9. They focus on the positive aspects of their partner. We all have negative and positive things. So it is always better to focus on the positive aspects of our partner than the negative aspects. The negative only adds more negativity.

What would you add to the list?  If the two members of the couple love each other, there is almost always a solution.