Newcomb’s Symmetric Attraction Model: What Does It Consist Of?

Interpersonal attraction is a well-studied subject in psychology. How do people fall in love? What does it take for a relationship to be healthy? One of the approaches to the answer to this is Theodore Newcomb’s model of symmetric attraction, or ABX model.

This model approaches relationships from the point of view of balance, trying to make sense of the way in which they are balanced or unbalanced. If this has piqued your curiosity, read on.

The symmetric attraction model or ABX

Balance in relationships, whatever their type, is a fundamental concept when it comes to looking for the keys to why they work -or not-.

According to Newcomb, we look for symmetry in relationships because, without it, we feel the so-called “pressure for symmetry. ” This psychological tension causes us to indulge in the cognitive and emotional activities that we believe are necessary to restore that symmetry.

What is the ABX?

In this model, A, B and X are the elements whose qualities determine whether the relationship is symmetric or not. Here is a description of each of them:

• A:  This is what the main person in the equation is called. The relationship is observed from the point of view of A.
• B – This is the person A is linked to.
• X:  for A and B to be in balance, they need something to bond with in common, be it another person, a situation, a topic, or an object. This third element is called X.

How is equilibrium reached?

These three elements – A, B and X – alone are insufficient to create a balance: relationships are always within the spectrum that goes from positive to negative. Therefore, within the framework of this theory, what defines whether a relationship is symmetric or not are the links that exist between these three elements.

When the links between all the components of the triangle are positive, that is, they have a beneficial relationship between them, the relationship is considered to be symmetric. However, when one of them is negative, the entire relationship is thrown out of balance. Interestingly, if two links are negative and another is positive, the balance is maintained.

When this asymmetry is revealed in the relationship, the pressure for symmetry is entered. At this time, strategies are unleashed to change or eliminate the links that unbalance the system.

The symmetric attraction model, better with an example

So much information in the abstract may be confusing. When people and relationships are reduced to multiplication it can be difficult to see a valid application to reality.

Therefore, it is best to give an example: A will become a primary school teacher, B a student in her class and X, the parents of that student. Below you can see how the relationship between the teacher and the student can be unbalanced or remain in symmetry.

Symmetric relationship example

The simplest form of symmetry is one in which all relationships are positive to each other. If the child gets bad grades and the teacher helps him improve, they would have a positive relationship. If, in addition, the parents approved of the teacher’s technique and got along well with their child, we would speak of a balanced relationship, since all ties are positive.

However, let’s say now that the teacher and the child get along very badly and, furthermore, she doesn’t care if the child’s parents protest about it. In this case, both the relationship between A and B and between A and X is negative, but it remains balanced because nothing prevents the teacher from changing her relationship with the student.

(I rewrite it here, to see if it is better understood in this way). However, sometimes two negative relationships can balance each other. Let’s take an example:

• Negative relationship between A and B:  the teacher and the child get on badly.
• Positive relationship between B and X:  the child gets along well with his parents, so he complains about the relationship with his teacher.
• Negative relationship between X and A:  parents confront the teacher.

Since the teacher gets on badly with both the parents and the child, the relationship, although damaging to the interests of the child, remains symmetrical. The teacher could attribute bad behavior to the child due to what was observed in the parents and downplay the complaints. In turn, the child could take advantage of the support of his parents to misbehave and attract the attention of the teacher or his parents.

Asymmetric relationship example

In this case, only one of the links in negative quality would be enough to cause the imbalance. It could be that the parents -X- were protesting the teacher’s treatment of the child, but in reality the two of them get along. Or there could be a negative relationship between the parents and the child and that is why the child misbehaves in class.

In these cases, equilibrium can be sought in several ways to resolve the pressure by symmetry. These are some examples:

• Change the relationship between any of the members of the equation. This is done by changing attitudes.

• Reduce the importance of the issue that makes the relationship negative. For example, the teacher might decide that the child is not worth it and not try to improve his behavior.
• Reduce the common relevance of the topic. In this case, the teacher might simply not be so involved in correcting the behavior of her students, with all that this implies on an emotional level.

Conclusions on the symmetric attraction model

As you can see, this example is focused on a non-loving relationship. The objective of this is to show that the search for balance in relationships is not only limited to couples, and that most of the models that exist seek something more than to find the keys to love: if they find the basis with which they all operate. In human relationships, the gain will be much greater than if forces are focused on only one type of bond.