I Know Who I Am And I Have Nothing To Prove
When you are clear about who you are, you don’t need anyone’s approval. Because few sensations are as liberating as living without having to prove anything, feeling authentic, owners of our own decisions and architects of those maps where dignity and a wise, free and colorful soul dwell.
Is not easy. Reaching that point in our life cycle, where self-expression and emotional luminosity give way to our authentic being, without prejudice and without the anguish of being judged or rejected, supposes initiating an entire internal revolution for which not everyone is prepared. The reason that this is so is found above all in our mental structure, always focused on the evaluation of others rather than on self-acceptance.
We live in a gallery-oriented society. The world is like a theatrical stage where someone establishes what is normative, what is expected and what is appropriate so that, without taking too long, the rest of us start dancing to that beat. Day by day, and without realizing it, we become sad secondary actors of made-up stories: those that have nothing to do with our identity, with our values or principles.
Let’s not forget that the image we have of ourselves is not transmitted culturally or inherited through genes: it is constructed. Just as each of us build an internal representation of the world around us, we also build theories and concepts about ourselves. These self-schemas can lead us to hate ourselves or, on the contrary, to love ourselves fully.
Let’s opt for the latter . Let’s become the main actors in our own wonderful stories.
Stop showing to start living
Each of us has been taught to read, walk, and eat healthy. When we fall ill we go to the doctor and they prescribe drugs that cure diseases. However, they rarely teach us to take care of ourselves psychologically, or even more, to love ourselves.
Many people go to a psychologist’s office with the devastating conviction that they are not made to be happy. Under the expressions “everything goes wrong”, “everyone leaves me aside” or “relationship that begins a relationship that is going to waste”, there is actually an underlying wound, an internal tattoo that could be summarized as follows: “I have forgotten love myself ”.
On the other hand, it is also curious how when defining and explaining how their relationships are, it is instantly clear that they are profiles very oriented towards others. They are people full of affection who understand life through care and dedication to the other. They think that the simple act of offering love and showing that disinterested affection will bring back the same emotional gift, the same currency, the same charge of energy.
In the midst of this dynamic between what I give and what I hope to receive in return, the person forgets something very simple: to live. Our existence is not based on that economy of affections of so much I offer so much receipt. In the midst of this unhealthy attachment to others is our own being, that which waits to be appreciated, liberated and recognized by oneself.
Keys to remembering who you really are
Our cleaning must begin by becoming aware of something very simple: of everything that we have not put there. Of what we have not chosen. Most of these things came to us in our early childhood years, when our brains had not yet developed adequate mental filters to be critical and value what they transmitted to us.
- Reflect on the values or mandates that your parents instilled in you and that somehow do not harmonize with what you feel, with what you need or consider to be important.
- The second step in our internal cleaning is to remove from the dark and dusty corners those negative schemes that we have built on ourselves. Generally, they are in the form of phrases: “I am not capable of …”, “at this point in life it is no longer worth it …”, “I am not made for this and that …”
- Next, it ‘s time to “catch” those intruders that inhabit the attic of your mind. They are usually very camouflaged and have the form of fear, indecision, prejudice and the constant need to be accepted … Identify them and tell them, kindly, to go where they have entered.
Finally, in this cleaning process it is always time to introduce that basic and essential furniture that will make our mental attic a peaceful, beautiful, unique and healthy space. We are certainly talking about the sofa of self-esteem, the table of good self-concept, the chairs that make up our values and.
Let’s start building the life we want, proud of who we are, happy to have a strong mind and a personality that dares to be the protagonist of its own story.
Images courtesy of Liz Clemments
