First Love Yourself

Since we are little, adults try hard to teach us good manners. They instill in us the value of being respectful of others, of being generous and kind. But how many times have you been told to be kind to yourself in the first place? They do not tell us about self-love, despite how powerful it is . Because yes, self-love changes your life. So, if you’ve never been told that this is your most important mission, I assure you: love yourself first.

From childhood they reward us when we are quiet, when we obey, when we are “good.” On the other hand, if we express our anger, our rage or our sadness, we do not find understanding but reprimands. In this way we learn to forget ourselves and live for others.

In adulthood, this pattern is so ingrained in many people that they are not even aware that it is a problem. Realizing that we have abandoned ourselves is not easy, the lack of self-love is often not found on the surface and we have to dig deeper to discover it.

How to know that you are not loving yourself?

• You are very generous with the people around you. You always have a moment to listen or help others, but you don’t get the same back.
• You frequently sacrifice for your loved ones. You do things you don’t want to do because someone important to you has asked you to do it.
• You are afraid that others will reject or abandon you and therefore you try to be complacent.
• You feel that you are a person with many positive qualities but that others do not value you enough.
• You think that thinking of yourself first is selfish.

What happens when you don’t love yourself?

We have all heard the phrase “if you don’t love yourself, no one will.” This is not entirely true, of course there will be people in your life who will love you. But surely the relationship will not be healthy because the bond you have with yourself is not healthy. If you don’t love yourself, you don’t know your worth. I nternamente or not you consider yourself worthy enough and so many unacceptable things wilt. 

You will remain in unbalanced relationships where you give but don’t receive. You will tolerate disrespect for fear of imposing yourself and being abandoned. You probably become the “emotional garbage dump” of people who only look to you to vent their complaints and negativity.

And most importantly, no matter how much love you have in your life, it will never be enough. You will never feel safe because the love that you are really looking for and don’t get is your own.

When you begin to love yourself, you will have met the most important person in your life. You will become aware that you deserve the best and you will not settle for less. You will be able to set limits, listen to your wishes and follow them without feeling selfish. You will respect your spaces and your times and you will make others respect them.

Love yourself

1. Recognize that you have abandoned yourself for a long time. It is important to become aware of how disconnected we have been from ourselves in order to reconnect.
2. Heal your inner child so you can take on the role of an adult. Forgive your past, heal your wounds in depth and start taking care of yourself.
3. Love your image in the mirror. People with little self-esteem find it very difficult to look at themselves in reflections or photographs and say good things to themselves. Get used to seeing you physically and looking at yourself with love.
4. Take care of your body and your mind. Establish good eating, exercise, and sleep habits and surround yourself with people who make you feel good. Stay away from toxic people and habits. Remember that, starting today, you are going to do your best.
5. Learn to set limits, to say “I don’t want to”, “I don’t feel like it”, “I don’t accept this.” Connect with your wishes and opinions and don’t be afraid to express them.

And love yourself first

With this article I do not pretend that you become narcissistic and inconsiderate. I just want you to understand that loving you first is your right, it is your duty and there is nothing selfish about it.

I try to convey to you that it is okay to love a lot, but because we have excess love and not because we lack. Love others because you have so much love in you that it overflows, not because you feel so much lack that you need others to fill you. Remember: love yourself and love yourself first.