No Smack Is In Time To Educate, Affection Always Is

This article is dedicated to all those people who think that “a good smack on time is what children need to get rid of the nonsense. ” I say it in street slang because that is how I have heard it in schools, zebra crossings, parks or social networks. I say it that way because it seems to me that it also reflects how sad it is.

We have gone from an educational model in which children could not open their mouths to a mixture of models that disorient parents and create chaos in the references of the little ones. A kind of tower of Babel in which relativism reigns: everything is questionable, everything can be bad, everything can be good. It depends, as the song said.

A smack is violence, a slap is violence

“If I don’t hit my son, I only give him a cake from time to time so that he goes very stiff and he doesn’t forget who’s boss.” “In fact, it hurts more to me than to him.” “I don’t like it, but there are times when I don’t have a choice.” Well, first of all, if we teach our children that violence – regardless of what kind – serves a purpose that is what they are going to learn.

They probably will not like hitting their classmates afterwards, but they will consider it as an option because their tutors, parents or educators also consider it as a possibility. In fact, they use it with him, that they love him very much; So, all the more reason to use it with those we love less, right?

“Sometimes I have no other option. ” This phrase links violence to frustration, not in its statement perhaps, but in reality. In that cake or cheek is the frustration of not having achieved it in another way, in many cases there is hidden anger at doing something that is hated. An emotion, which implies more energy to discharge and, therefore, a stronger blow.

A smack is sad, a slap is sad

Sad because it can cause pain, sad because it can cause fear, sad because it can cause tears. Sad because it can do all three at once without teaching anything. This punishment, like all punishments, focuses attention on the negative, on what is not supposed to be done. A slap does not speak of alternative behaviors; It may say that colleagues should not be hit, but it does not tell them how to make requests or how to react to a refusal.

Another popular comment is “they gave it to me and I have not come out so bad. ” Fortunately, sometimes people turn out well “despite”, rather than “thanks to.” There was probably someone who taught you or who you looked at to do things well and not use violence as a negotiating weapon.

Think that this is the question and not another. Fortunately, it is very strange that someone is left with a trauma from a cahete or a cake, but what I mean is that you can educate without using them, you can educate better without it. Of course, it requires more effort, more patience, more reflection and time spent with our children. Quality time and not the time left over after working, cleaning the house, pancharging, doing the laundry, and doing and organizing the shopping.

If we do this, the smacking and slapping will disappear because they simply won’t be necessary. We will not need a drastic measure to straighten a tree that has been twisted a lot, we will have done it with love with each of the centimeters that it has been gaining.

That doesn’t hurt anybody. Think, is there anything more beautiful? In addition, children also have their important issues …