4 Most Common Self-esteem Problems
Our experiences are forming and developing our self-esteem, both positively and negatively. The assessment we make of our way of being and the set of traits that make up our self influence our well-being. Hence, the importance of not letting go of self-esteem problems.
Self-esteem is one of the pillars of our vital functioning. The engine that pushes us to feel good or bad. That is why your care is so important. But sometimes the experiences, perceptions, comparisons or messages we receive can play tricks on us and influence how we value ourselves. Let’s see what are the 4 most common self-esteem problems and how to deal with them.
The 4 most common self-esteem problems
Having a negative image of ourselves
Our eyes are the first mirror from which we look at ourselves. A realistic view of ourselves must take into account both the positive (strengths) and negative (weaknesses) aspects.
If we put on some “opaque glasses” we will not let the light pass and we will only focus on our defects. Whereas if we are able to change our glasses, the perception and assessment that we have of ourselves will change. It is impossible that we are just a bag full of flaws. Also, how are we going to see the good side of life, if we are not able to see good things in ourselves?
When gray and black rule our lives, we may have to explore other colors, other alternatives …
Not being sure of our actions and thoughts
They say that doubting is wise, but when we continually question our ideas or actions, insecurity can ensnare us. If we get used to mistrusting our abilities and actions, we will lose value and as a consequence, we will have low self-esteem.
Loving us implies trusting us. Firmly believe in our values and principles and be willing to defend them. Now, it also implies rectifying when we err.
Waiting for others to approve what we want to do and even what we are thinking is not the way. Often they don’t know what we want or have different priorities. Why not take a chance and start being ourselves? In this way, we will stop being vulnerable to others and begin to practice authenticity.
The impossibility of accepting us
One of the main problems of self-esteem is the lack of self-acceptance. When we do not give ourselves the opportunity to recognize our qualities and accept our mistakes and feelings, we are not accepting as we are.
If we do not manage to fit the different parts that compose us, our self-esteem will run out of strength and will break into pieces. Our growth will be limited and so will our relationships.
What’s wrong with being discovered? Accepting yourself implies the possibility of continuing to grow and also opens the doors to transformation and change. Carl Jung already said “ What you deny submits you. What you accept transforms you “.
The presence of frequent negative feelings
We all experience moments in which we have negative or unresolved feelings, even if we are not fully aware of them. Constant negative feelings indicate self-esteem problems and can be expressed in many ways:
- Generalized lack of appetite for the joy of living
- Inability to see the bright side
- Hate us
- Anxiety
- Sudden or exaggerated mood swings
- Neurotic guilt
- Overreactions
- Hypersensitivity and / or hyperarousal
- Impotence
- Self destruction
- Chronic indecision
- Perfectionism
Thus, the image we form of ourselves based on how we feel is also important to review. Since if we feel bad it will be much more negative than if we experience positive feelings. For example, shame can immobilize us, anger can tense us, and sadness can lead to total neglect and discomfort.
Self-esteem is the skeleton of our “I”
Self-esteem problems can lead to defeat and failure if we ignore them. Working on our emotional intelligence will help us manage and improve the way we value ourselves.
Values, customs, appreciations and acceptance are some factors that influence our way of being and acting. In addition, what we believe and perceive that others think about us is very decisive as well. Creating awareness to properly work our self-esteem will facilitate the achievement of our dreams and above all, achieve well-being. Let’s not forget that loving each other is the beginning of everything.
