A Breakup Is An Opportunity To Transform Yourself

In most cases, after a breakup, we experience the pain of the absence of the loved one. Even if they have left us, we hope that it will come back into our lives. However, the reality is usually painful, since for some reason this is not always possible.

According to the American psychotherapist Katherine Woodward, to whom the term “Conscious separation” is attributed, a great deal of personal work is necessary to end a relationship in the best possible way.

This implies assuming failures, responsibilities and being aware of the dynamics that led to this situation. In this way, the break becomes an opportunity for transformation, that turning point from which to redirect our lives and even ourselves. Let’s go deeper.

Accept reality to breathe freedom

We live in a society that limits love to the sphere of relationships. Who has not thought that without a partner any possibility of love in his life is impossible? The question is: do we know how to love in all its extension and fullness of freedom or do we live in a perpetual and addictive attachment?

Putting an end to an end is a complex process because we have to close cycles. If we don’t, we will hardly get on with our lives. In addition, it is important to bear in mind that as in any process of discomfort, we will experience an emotional roller coaster of anger, sadness, fear, anxiety and pain and a grieving process.

The key? The acceptation. Assuming reality is the support that makes progress and inner growth possible. Because when you accept reality, you free yourself from that uncomfortable emotional clothing and you begin to be aware of all your psychological strength and the positive learning that this vast emotional situation can leave you.

However, we will not always have the strength to go through this situation alone. Therefore, in this type of situation it is advisable to assist a specialized professional. This will teach us how to manage emotions and will advise us on how to continue with our life in a healthy way. Of course, let’s not forget that it is also important to lean on family and friends.

Reprogram your beliefs about love after the breakup

The beliefs that we hold and nurture about love and relationships can be decisive when it comes to getting over a breakup.

Most of us were raised from the perspective of romantic love, the one in which the idea of ​​suffering for love prevails. In fact, it is one of the beliefs that can harm us the most, since if we hold it it seems that being without a partner is a failure, while being with a partner is a success. Now, how many couples are still together pretending to be happy?

The point is that it doesn’t do us any good to think that being in a relationship is the only right thing or a sacrifice. Because although it is proven that we all like to feel loved and loved, it is also possible to be single, separated or divorced and have a full emotional life.

Therefore, perhaps it is time to reset our beliefs about love and relationships. And not only that, but to face our emotions in relation to these issues, especially those that cause us discomfort and suffering.

Accepting the uncomfortable emotions resulting from a breakup has two aspects. On the one hand, it is an emotional challenge due to resistance to acceptance and denial of the situation; however, on the other hand, once accepted, we begin to walk a path that is becoming more transparent and balanced.

Guidelines for transformation after a couple breakup

The transformation process after a breakup is not easy, but it is not impossible either. It is about learning a series of skills to manage emotions, establish an emotional balance and achieve both physical and mental well-being.

Here are ten keys that will allow you to transform your life in a positive way after a breakup:

• Know yourself. The first step to transform ourselves is to know who we are. That is why it is so important to be honest with you.
• Work on your self-esteem. Having a healthy self-esteem encourages you to do everything you want. The most important love is self-love, therefore: pamper yourself, speak positively, do not compare yourself …
• Develop self-acceptance and self-awareness. Evaluate your belief systems, needs, values. It is time to learn new behaviors.

• Get out of your comfort zone. Be aware that “if you continue to act in the same way, you will get the same results.” Be open to change.
• Stay active. Do what you have always wanted to do. A trip, a hobby, a sport …
• Live in the here and now. Keep in mind that “the past brings us depression and the future anxiety.” Don’t be in a hurry, savor life.
• Think positive.
• Give up victimhood. Assume that no one is guilty or innocent, we are only responsible for our actions. Therefore, keep in mind that in every event there is learning.
• He is grateful for everything he has lived and learned. Living with grudges from the past has the effect of being unhappy in the present. Gratitude opens doors.
• Educate your emotions. Negative emotions are here to stay in your life, make friends with them and discover what they want to tell you.

And you, do you dare to transform yourself?