Choose Well With Whom To Share Your Feelings

By sharing our concerns or feelings, we want to be understood, not judged. Identifying the people who can successfully play this role is a skill that can help us a lot and the first step to feeling better.
Choose well with whom to share your feelings

Surely you have ever wondered with whom it is more appropriate to share your feelings. Not all people are receptive or appropriate, no matter how close they may seem. Likewise, there are those who, with all their good faith, end up making us the most unfortunate comment, giving advice when we only want to be heard. Therefore, it is good to have some guidelines that help intuition when identifying the best in this role.

Something that they repeat to us frequently is that sharing what we feel with others is something as positive as it is cathartic. However, one aspect that is not always specified is that not all people are qualified to participate in this emotional craft.

If we take a tour of the past, surely at some point we would have stopped sharing our pain, joy or surprise with someone. It is something that happens frequently. We think that that friend, that coworker or even that sister may be receptive to our feelings.

However, soon we find that this someone does not suppose the refuge we imagined: he does not attach any importance to what shrinks us from the inside. There are also those who judge us or those who are simply very clumsy in this type of social situation : they are able to put themselves in our place, but then they do not know how to return to theirs and help us.

Woman with a heart of wool symbolizing with whom to share your feelings

Who can you share your feelings with?

However, the opposite is also frequently the case. We think that we can approach certain trusted people to make them share in certain experiences and feelings, and then regret it. Something like this can have important consequences.

An example, if a teenager takes the step and decides to share his feelings and what he finds is criticism or a mockery, different scenarios can be generated. One, that I no longer share anything else. Another, that their value as a person begins to appear, in a process that can greatly damage their self-esteem.

As we can see, not all people are trained to listen or give emotional support. So how do you know who to share your feelings with? These would be some keys.

faces with lines symbolizing with whom to share your feelings

Sharing your feelings is not a form of communication, be careful

There are those who do not apply filters. There are those who have no problem when it comes to being honest with whom chance places close. They are those people who share every thought and feeling with coworkers, neighbors or acquaintances. The consequences of this indiscriminate practice are often as serious as they are disastrous.

So let’s remember to be cautious, prudent, and smart. The fact that someone is by our side does not qualify that someone to be the adequate support for our reflection. Sharing emotions or feelings is not just another form of communication, it is something more intimate and delicate.

Listen without judgment, listen without giving advice

When we choose to share something with someone we do not expect them to solve the problem for us. Often we only wish for a person who is able to listen and, more importantly, to understand us.

Thus, it is common to be sincere with that person who does not hesitate to give us an arsenal of advice and even a route plan on what we should do. There are also those who are agile when making a judgment: ‘it is that you should not have done things like that’, ‘it is that you are too confident’, ‘again you have made a mistake, it is clear that that is not yours’ …

All these dynamics are what we must avoid. If you want to share your feelings with someone, choose well, look for that person who is good at listening, close to empathize with you and capable of showing you an authentic understanding.

Couple talking while having coffee

There are people who are home, who create emotionally safe spaces

If you are looking for people with whom to share your feelings, choose who knows how to be home. There are friends or even acquaintances who have the special ability to create safe spaces where trust is palpable, where we feel good, safe and understood. Thus, something that can happen is that that person capable of listening to us as we need, is not precisely our partner or even that lifelong friendship.

Regardless of what we may think happens, this is normal. Sometimes, those figures that have always been with us are not the most successful at a given moment to listen to us. We know that they want the best for us, but there are times when we need other perspectives, a type of support that defends our interests in a more or less emotional way.

Therefore, it would be about knowing how to search, knowing how to find that special being capable of listening to us as we deserve. Let’s be cautious and smart when it comes to sharing feelings. A wrong comment can do a lot of damage, but a look that welcomes us with affection without judgment, comforts and heals. Let’s think about it.

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