How To Be Unhappy In Five Steps
For various reasons there are those who make the following maxim in their life plan: “I was born to suffer and I will not rest until I achieve it. ” There is an unknown impulse in all human beings that draws us into the abyss.
Not for nothing are we the only species that stumbles over the same stone fifty or more times. The only one, too, who is capable of obsessively clinging to that which hurts her: a memory that afflicts, a love that hurts, a drug that sickens, a god that cries out for martyrdom.
Although almost no one consciously recognizes it, suffering attracts us. We are like the insect that approaches the flame, without taking into account that it is going to be eaten by it. It is not “masochism” as it is known in popular parlance. They are those death drives that inhabit us with as much force as life drives.
There are some recurring behaviors that help us in our task of suffering. Habits that guarantee us continuous unhappiness and that we treasure as the beggar cares for the wound that allows him to obtain alms. Here’s how to achieve guaranteed unhappiness, in just five steps.
Feed the terror of economic losses
No matter how miserable you feel at work, keep it regardless. Never, listen well, NEVER risk changing jobs. Aguanta. You can always take more. Of course, complain every day and do not spend a lot of money, just enough to avoid starving. Do not forget to criticize strongly those who spend more than you. Ah! Don’t forget to imagine every day what your life would be like if you went bankrupt and ended up sleeping in a homeless shelter.
Combine boredom with irresponsibility
Organize a routine rigid enough that you feel trapped. And complain about how boring it is, so not only will you be bored, but you will bore others. If you get too fed up, nothing better than sitting in front of the television for hours, or going out of stores with your credit card to buy everything you don’t need (so you will have to regret at the end of the month). If you are not unhappy enough like that, provoke a good fight with your family, with your partner, with your friends. Nothing better than a fight to change boredom for something worse.
Build a pathologized identity and run an advertising campaign about it
Eliminate the verb “estar” from your vocabulary and change it to the verb “ser”. In this way you will not be depressed, but you will be a depressed person. You will not be distressed either, but rather you will be an anxious individual. This way of approaching your problems is not funny if you don’t do enough hype. So take advantage of any conversation to show off your pathologies in front of others. Thoroughly point out your flaws, weaknesses, and unhealthy traits. This way you will get others to support you in your purpose of being the most unhappy of mortals.
Look for bad intentions in others and remove gratitude from your life
Remember that every human being is bad until proven otherwise. It doesn’t matter how friendly, kind, or sincere they may seem. You know they have bad intentions and their apparent good will is nothing more than a facade. It is not enough that you know, you also have to make it known to the world. Speak badly of the one, when you are with the other; and of the others when you are with the ones. So everyone will be warned. And, of course, you don’t have to keep that feeling that some call “gratitude.” What are you going to be thankful for? Life suffers and then dies. Also, there are many studies that indicate that grateful people are much happier. So avoid it by any means.
If you follow these tips one by one and practice them to the letter daily, you will soon achieve the misery you long for. Being unhappy is not easy, so you have to do your best if you really want to achieve it.
Image courtesy of Ana N R.
