Is Cosmetic Surgery The Solution?
It is possible that you have ever thought about resorting to surgery thinking that this would be the definitive solution to that complex that has been bothering you for quite some time and perhaps you have already done it.
If so, I would like you to think for a moment if, due to the fact that you have had surgery or some part of your body intervened, your complexes and insecurities have disappeared. I really don’t think so as it is not what usually happens.
It is to respect the fact that each one does with his body what he pleases; whatever you want is added, reduced or modified, but it is worth knowing that from a psychological point of view insecurities are not solved by means of a scalpel.
Do you need to be beautiful?
We all like to be physically well, to be liked by others, to be complimented or given compliments, and I don’t think it’s any different for anyone. I defend the fact that you have to take care of yourself physically and mentally, eat well, play sports and stay healthy.
But where is the boundary between wanting what we just discussed and needing it? It is important to clarify it, because needing already implies that we have to possess it yes or yes and that we will do whatever it takes to have it because if it is not like that, our happiness can plummet.
The problem exists when our self-esteem is seriously conditioned by a physical complex. When we think that if we operate, we will gain love for ourselves or increase that which others profess for us, so that indirectly our level of happiness increases.
In psychology we find the body dysmorphophobic disorder. In this disorder, the person maintains an important and unusual concern for some perceived defect in the physical characteristics. This excessive concern for the body or for some specific defect causes the sufferer to live in a continuous state of dissatisfaction.
A concern, which on the other hand, it is not uncommon for it to end up being treated by a plastic surgeon instead of a psychologist, causing the patient to refer the concern to another side of the body or to fix it in the same, harboring expectations regarding to operations that are impossible to fulfill.
The problem is that these people never find a limit from which to conform. Even if their surgeon advises them not to perform more operations, if financial resources allow it, they do not hesitate to invest in surgery.
We have a clear example in the famous star Michael Jackson, but there are many cases, perhaps less extreme but that based their happiness on a beautiful physique.
Surgery vs Therapy
When is it okay to resort to surgery and when to psychological therapy? A good limit would be when our self-esteem begins to be involved, when an aspect of our body generates such concern that it occupies one of the highest places on our scale of priorities.
If I am a person with high self-esteem, that I do not need the approval of others, that I do not need a perfect physique and that I am aware that my happiness does not depend on being more or less beautiful, but I have a specific defect that I would like improve, it is sensible to resort to surgery.
However, if I am an insecure person, with low self-esteem, afraid of rejection or non-approval and I think that being handsome is very important in life and even necessary to be happy, then you have to go to therapy.
You can have surgery today and in the short term feel some pleasure or gratification, but I assure you that tomorrow you will be worried about another defect and so on until you learn to accept yourself unconditionally. The problem is not in your physique but in what you think about your physique and about yourself as a person.
If you respond more or less to a beauty canon, get high or low intelligence test scores or have more or less money in your account, in therapy you will learn to love yourself because you will give value to what really matters : our ability to collaborate, to enjoying each other, living life and appreciating what we have.
No one is happier for being handsome, smart, successful, or a millionaire. In fact, many people are enslaved by these qualities and spend their lives looking for more and more of what they already have because they have not learned that true happiness is found in the little things. But, above all, in how we appreciate what we have and do not complain about what we lack.
