Should I Go Or Should I Stay? The Answer Is Within You

Should I go or should I stay? Few existential crossroads raise so many doubts, so many fears. We know that sometimes staying is going too far and that on the contrary, putting distance means returning to our authentic essences. However, this rule of three may not work in all cases. So how do you know? How to make the right decision?

If there is something that we would all like, it is to always be able to make the right decision, to be infallible, precise and impeccable in each of our steps. Now, no matter how much we want to, no one comes to this world with a perfectly calibrated compass capable of guiding them on the path of life. Thus, and in a way, that is our true greatness, the true adventure: charting our own path based on mistakes and successes.

On the map of our existence, the only mistake we can make is precisely not making decisions, letting chance take the helm, abandoning that portion of control that we always have. To stay with fear is to embrace immobility, it is to anchor ourselves like rusty ships on the shore of life. However, whoever is able to choose one direction or another will be assuming the learning that comes from this decision, the most important of all.

Should I go or should I stay? Deciding does not always mean giving up

People are pushed to make decisions almost constantly. We choose between going by car or public transport, between having tea or coffee, between meeting or not meeting a friend, between saving a little more this month or going more up to date satisfying our desires or needs … This type of choice, more or less banal, they do not involve us a great effort because in general, there is no type of “loss” in them.

The decisions where the greatest emotional tension is concentrated are those for which our brain understands that there is a loss of balance. Leaving or not leaving our partner, leaving work to find another, leaving our country to undertake other projects … All of this ignites in us something that psychologists understand as “aversion to loss”. It is as if an alarm went off inside us, warning us that there is a risk, a danger for which we are not prepared.

Thus, when asked “Should I go or should I stay?” it is necessary to understand some aspects that can certainly help us.

• Deciding, making a decision should not be synonymous with loss or resignation: let’s understand it as a gain. For example, if I leave that job in which I felt fulfilled to take another where I receive a better salary, but my personal satisfaction is lower, we would probably be facing a loss.

• Another example: if I choose to give my partner a new chance, stay and stretch a little more of that almost impossible relationship, I will be losing, I will be hurting myself. Let’s not forget that holding on can be much more painful than letting go.

In this sense, it is intelligent that we try to give a meaning and an orientation to each of our decisions. If I choose to stay or choose to leave, it will be for a very specific purpose: to invest in myself, to continue working day by day on my happiness. This is also a choice that only I can make, because no one can put themselves through my shoes to trace my path, nor can anyone be fully integrated into my circumstances because the deeper knowledge of them, in most cases, I can only reach it me.

The answer is within you

Should I go or should I stay? Sometimes this question becomes chronic in such a way that everything begins to blur, we lose quality of life and what is worse, our body begins to somatize that anguish, that perpetual unresolved doubt.

• We suffer from insomnia.
• Digestion problems
• Headaches
• Musculoskeletal pain.
• Humor changes.
• Tachycardias
• Concentration problems…

When our mind is not calm, it stops tuning in with our body and then imbalances appear, obvious clues that there is a problem that we must solve. . These would be steps to reflect on.

Two components to make a good decision

We have heard many times that the best answer is always within us. Getting there is an act of courageous self-exploration that can be carried out using the problem-solving model of Thomas D’Zurilla and Marvin Goldfried. This theoretical proposal is simple and inspiring and requires us to put two processes into practice:

• Assume a positive and courageous attitude. When facing a problem, our attitude is everything. Let us remember once again what was stated above, let us orient our actions in one direction, that of personal gain. Deciding is not giving up, in this step there must always be added value, a clear incentive for our happiness and inner balance.
• The second aspect is the ability to reformulate our life. There always comes a time when there is no choice but to reinvent ourselves again, rewrite our history, take a step further to move forward being the same as always, but something stronger, something newer, almost shining.

To conclude, faced with the eternal question of ” should I go or should I stay?”, Let us understand that in reality there is not always a more correct option than another, there is not a golden path and another one with pointed thorns. We are the ones who will make that choice the ideal one, keeping our priorities clear, we who with our efforts will shape a more satisfactory reality.

The path, after all, is always done by us.