The 4 Types Of Grief We Suffer

We human beings live our lives emotionally bonding with people who, when they leave us, cause us to plunge into a painful grief. Grief is a feeling of pain, a feeling that arises when that person has left and a battle of I want to, but I cannot, begins within us.

The reality of loss

When we find ourselves immersed in a deep loss, we will find that it is very difficult to get out of it. To begin with, we will probably have to fight an internal battle: one party accepts the loss, but another refuses to do so.

This is something natural, something that we must understand and that we must understand. Never blame yourself for it, or feel bad. Your reaction is very normal, and the ups and downs are in themselves a characteristic of grief. There are days when you can feel that you are moving forward and others that you are walking a little backwards, the important thing is your progression on a global level.

Now that we know what it is, we  must know the different types of grief that may exist because that will allow us to analyze ourselves, if we have already gone through a loss, if in the future  we have to face it or if you have the opportunity to help someone who is going through it. This way we will better understand what is happening to us, accept it and overcome it.

1. Pathological grief

In pathological grief,  the part of acceptance of said loss does not happen at any time. Only denial is present before it.

In the mind of the person who is suffering from this type of grief, certain mechanisms are set in motion that protect them from that reality that hurts so much. It is as if the person has created a kind of phantom terrain on which he walks through the abyss, without paying the price of the fall but also without being able to return to the mainland.

Phrases such as “nothing has happened here”, “nothing has changed”, etc. appear in his mind. This only makes the pain take over her, but little by little, like the rain that soaks the bones.

2. Denial of grief

It looks similar to the above, but it has nothing to do with it. In the denial of grief,  the person immersed in grief is unable to express what he feels, which causes them intense discomfort. Swallowing, suppressing, has never been good. Sometimes crying allows us to free ourselves from all that is not hurting.

This type of grief arises in people who consider that crying or suffering will make them appear weak in front of others. That is why they keep everything to themselves … until they can’t take it anymore and they explode in a totally unpredictable and usually uncontrolled way.

3. Intensified grief

In intensified grief, the person who suffers it releases everything that is inside without repressing anything at all. You can cry, scream, express your anger …

We may believe that it is beneficial, but such expression of pain, which is experienced in a perhaps deeper way, causes these people to sometimes fall into depression.

It is good that we express what we feel, but choosing the right way and channel. Nor should we seek a recreation within our own pain, as an expiation of guilt if we harbor this feeling.

4. Ambiguous grief

It always occurs when it is unknown whether the person we love has died or not. It usually happens with missing people, kidnapped, and so on.

It is a type of duel that is also known as “frozen duel” , since it remains uncertain while waiting for news. The feeling of not understanding what is happening or knowing anything, make it perhaps the worst type of grief that can be suffered, until something is known …

None of us is free from the terrible grief. It’s something we all go through at some point in our lives. Grief is a painful situation, but also one of overcoming.

Knowing these duels will make you aware of what is really happening to you and will open your eyes to a more hopeful future. It is normal for you to suffer, but all the storms have passed … and you, sooner than you think, will move on again.

Images courtesy of Matt Wisniewski