What Anger Says About You

Anger is a primary protective emotion. Its objective is to prevent us from suffering any damage or loss of something that is very important or valuable to us. We can also say that it is the most physical emotion due to the reactions of our body when trying to neutralize the risk and defeat the possible threat.

Anger has been present in our lives since the most ancient times and has been vital in the survival and evolution of man. Although before it could be an advantage that allowed us to defend our property, today it can be the key to understanding our deepest longings and desires.

Factors that provoke anger

Anger depends on two well-defined factors: the vulnerability we feel at the moment and the magnitude of the perceived threat. It is possible for a small threat to cause great anger when we feel particularly vulnerable. It may be that our physical resources are not quite right (we are stressed, sick, injured, etc.) or our mind is not at its best (we are insecure, anxious or depressed).

Troubled anger, that which leads you to act against your real benefit, is caused by feelings of extreme vulnerability. This type of anger is our most revealing state of mind since it allows us to know those factors that destabilize us and can be key to identifying deeper problems.

That is why it is so important that we analyze when this emotion overwhelms us. Is it when we have a heavy workload? When does a person fail to meet our expectations? Perhaps the source of that emotion is our low tolerance for frustration or high expectations.

What anger tells us

We experience a state of complete tranquility and calm when we think and act in accordance with our values ​​and goals. This translates into a feeling of being genuine and authentic, which together reduces insecurity and vulnerability.

On the other hand, by blaming someone for having unfair behavior towards us, we become angry, resentful and generate a feeling of helplessness that affects our self-esteem. The more angry or resentful we are, the more difficult it is to restore self-esteem on our own. This is because we generate the need for someone to satisfy our need, whether or not it is valid.

When we don’t live up to our deepest values ​​and beliefs, we end up acting on our ego, expecting others to please us. With this we only increase our feeling of vulnerability when trying to manipulate circumstances in our favor. If the situation continues like this, more resentment and anger accumulates that seek to hide the existing deficiencies.

Using anger to our advantage

Anger problems can show up in a number of ways: resentment, impatience, restlessness, sarcasm, agitation, and irritability. These characteristics can function as a thermometer that indicates the state in which we are and the needs or deficiencies that we seek to compensate. For this reason, we can use this emotion to our advantage. Not everything was going to be negative!

Although it can be very difficult to regain control in the moment, it is important to analyze the factors that led us to that state as soon as possible. In this way we can identify those desires, wishes or situations that are affecting our safety and act accordingly.

Stopping to reflect will be essential, try not to escape this emotion even more. We must force ourselves to look anger in the eye to know what triggers it and what it is trying to tell us. Only in this way will we manage to manage it properly and reduce those episodes in which we believe that we are not in control.