What Is The Happiness Paradox And How Does It Work?

The word happiness is one of the most used in the world. In today’s culture it represents the ultimate goal of many people. It was not always like this. In times past the essential purpose had to do with virtue, descent, or property. In the modern era, on the other hand, the paradox of happiness assumed the leading role.

The happiness paradox is that most of us want to be happy; However,  if we are asked what happiness is, we can hardly define it. If we go a little further and ask ourselves why they want to be happy, the answer is most likely a silence or a hesitation. Apparently, the answer would be obvious from the longing of the target. Nevertheless,…

If we want to continue complicating our lives, we could ask a third question: how do you achieve happiness? There can appear many answers, according to the wishes of each one. We would speak above all about professional achievements, success and fulfillment in the couple, but without defining in a concrete way what that happiness that we seek is like or what we hope will happen when we find it.

So, in short, we are in a time where almost all of us are looking for happiness, but most do not know what it is or what they want it for and only have slight suspicions about the path that must be followed to achieve it. That is the great paradox of happiness.

The paradox of happiness and dissatisfaction

Dr. Iris B. Mauss, a professor at the University of Denver , conducted two investigations to elucidate how the theme of happiness operates in people. The results of these studies are truly disconcerting and bring us closer to what the happiness paradox is.

In the first study, an analysis of three aspects was carried out :

• The degree of importance that each person attached to happiness;
• The external conditions in which the participants lived, that is, social and professional position, satisfaction of basic needs, etc.
• The relationship between good external conditions and a feeling of happiness.

The result was that people who placed a high value on happiness felt more dissatisfied, even if they had excellent external conditions in their life. On the other hand, those who were more neutral or did not give so much importance to the pursuit of happiness felt more satisfied; this happened even if their life circumstances were more difficult. These conclusions show the essence of the happiness paradox.

Happiness and loneliness

The second experiment carried out at the University of Denver did something similar to the previous one. However, in this case satisfaction was not measured, but how loneliness was experienced by those who gave great importance to happiness and those who did not.

The result was similar to that of the first study. Those who intensely pursued happiness felt more alone, while those who did not attach much importance to that goal did not experience that feeling. I mean, they weren’t particularly lonely.

The initial conclusion in this regard is that those who are eagerly seeking happiness focus excessively on themselves. His quest for achievement and success breaks the bond with others. This strengthens the feeling of loneliness. Here again the paradox of happiness is verified.

The coordinates of happiness

Interesting conclusions can be drawn from these studies. The first of these, and perhaps the most important, is that external achievements are not a source of happiness as such. That is why many people, when they obtain something that they wanted very much and after a brief satisfaction, feel a discomfort that leads them to propose a new goal, in an endless cycle.

Happiness, therefore, is a process that is cooked within ourselves. A reality that only has to do partially with external achievements. Perhaps many tirelessly seek that happiness with the secret desire to end that “eternal” dissatisfaction that inhabits them. They do not realize that it is within them, and not outside, that the paradise they seek or the hell they flee from is.

On the other hand, studies allow us to conclude that the idealization of the concept of happiness only entails frustration. Those who accept that what we call happiness is only part of life are lighter and more satisfied. That a permanent state of happiness cannot be desired because this aspiration is precisely the first condition for it not to exist. This helps us to more easily accept reality as it is, and therefore to feel satisfied more often.

What we imprecisely call happiness, that feeling of happiness and fulfillment, is something that only occurs occasionally. In any case, it is easier for you to visit us when we have made the decision to be the best version of ourselves.