When We Miss A First Impression

The first 30 seconds that elapse since we see a person are enough to create an opinion about them. Indeed, although it may be hasty, irrational or unfair, we all inevitably form a first impression of the other as soon as we meet them. But how much is this quick judgment of right and wrong?

We have all once felt that we immediately hit it off with someone, just as we have experienced a sudden rejection by an individual we just met. On some occasions that first opinion will have been confirmed over time. But in other cases we have probably realized how wrong we were about that person. It is even possible that we have ended up forming an emotional bond with the person who initially made a bad impression on us. Why does this happen?.

The first impression

First impressions are not in themselves a negative thing. On the contrary, they are necessary for us to be able to function socially in a more agile and efficient way. Interactions would be chaotic if we did not have these clues that guide us to act differently with each human being.

After all, a first impression is created from the information that we have accumulated throughout various life experiences. Based on it, we form cognitive schemes that help us simplify the reality in which we live. For this reason, the objective should not be to eliminate these early assessments, but to learn to take them in their proper measure.

A first impression provides us with relevant data about the person, which motivates us to address them according to certain parameters. However, it has to be flexible and open to confirmations and modifications. Our initial judgment should not be carved in stone, rather it should be a map that guides us about the reality that we have before us and that we will discover for ourselves.

What are first impressions based on?

There are several aspects that determine the impression that a person makes on us before knowing, for sure, what it is like:

• Preconceived ideas: many times although we have not been face to face with the person we have heard about them, we know certain details of their life. This information can generate preconceived ideas that prevent us from approaching it in an objective way. If someone close to us has spoken ill of another individual, it is inevitable that we feel some suspicion even before we meet him.

• Prejudices and stereotypes: stereotypes are perceptions we have about people based on a specific fact. They are simplifications that help us to categorize the world but that, at times, are unfair and partial. Knowing the ethnicity, age or occupation of someone can lead us to develop a much broader idea of ​​their being, without having sufficient data in this regard. If we form this image based on a quality that we dislike, we will be less willing to check the virtues of the other.

• Physical appearance: although it may seem superficial, our image is one of the aspects that most influences a first impression. Your height, your weight, your eye color, the clothes you wear or the shoes you wear. They are apparently unimportant elements, but they provide a lot of information to the person who sees you for the first time. Although such information, many times, does not correspond to the reality of who we are internally.

• Non-verbal communication: what we express through our gestures, postures, tone of voice or speed of speech constitutes a much larger part of communication than the content of the message itself. Therefore, from these aspects we get an idea of ​​whether the other person is sociable, shy, close or cheerful.

Orientation and no sentence

In short, our first impressions are usually quite accurate. Especially considering that they are formed in a short period of time and from little information. The level of social intelligence that each individual possesses also comes into play, which will make their perceptions more or less erroneous.

However, we must always take this first image as an orientation and not as a sentence. Our judgment is not infallible and is clouded by various beliefs. That is why we have to give ourselves the opportunity to get to know each other in depth.