Why Not Give Yourself Another Chance To Love Again?

Who has not ever been cheated on by love? Usually, someone who has suffered an emotional injury develops a certain aversion to being exposed to situations similar to the one that has caused that suffering. But you can regain the ability to love again.

Especially in the early stages of healing of that emotional wound is when many people close themselves more hermetically to other people. And, therefore, it is difficult for them to start meeting new people again. However, the opposite happens to others and they quickly look for someone to replace this damage, thinking that “one nail removes another nail”.

3 wrong ways to react to disappointment

1. Become very demanding

This way of acting consists of putting too many demands when it comes to starting a relationship with someone again. Sometimes these demands are realistic and proportionate, but other times they are oversized and made unconsciously in order not to suffer again. They are like defense mechanisms.

Many people say that they are not very enamored and very demanding, but often behind that lies the fear of suffering. And, therefore, they always find something in others that serves as an excuse not to start new relationships.

2. Living in the past

It consists of not being able to close a previous love stage. The “ex” is magnified, believing that it will not be possible to meet anyone the same again. The problem with this way of acting is that, believing that you cannot meet someone similar, you usually fall into inactivity.

Thus, in the end it ends up fulfilling that of not meeting someone similar again, but not because it is not possible, but because the initiative to meet new people is not taken. There are so many people in the world, that you can always find the profile that you like. But to know them you have to be socially active.

3. Self-sabotage

Sabotaging oneself means being very negative when it comes to defining yourself. It means not believing in oneself, taking off courage, making excuses for not undertaking … It is putting impediments and obstacles to oneself, thus preventing the achievement of achieving any objective.

After a bad experience, people with low self-esteem often experience guilt and feelings of failure. It is precisely these feelings and the negative thoughts that are generated that make it difficult for the person to be receptive again to a similar situation. This happens because if you do not feel valuable, it will be difficult for you to open up or expose yourself to the beginning of a new stage.

Regain the ability to love again

Thoughts and feelings are closely related. Thus , feelings can vary depending on the way we think, just as we can generate feelings with our way of thinking. A breakup can generate fear, anger or sadness but (and here comes the wonderful thing), we can regain joy by managing our memories, attention or behavior to confront all these negative emotions.

For example, try, when you have a gray day, to think about funny adventures that you have lived with friends, a joke with which you cannot stop laughing, a clown that you have done in the past … All this will help you to forget the darkness of your day and it will bring you, at least, a slight smile. In turn, this gesture can anticipate a change in emotional state that lasts for the rest of the day. From sadness to joy with just one thought … 

Moving on is not an obligation, but a great opportunity to do something better. To love again is possible. In fact, if a relationship has ended, it was most likely because it was not the right one for your life.

Knowing that we can have some control over our emotions is essential to be able to love again. It is the first step to be able to use one of the most powerful weapons that we have.

We have all suffered at some time for love. Therefore, we know how upset, angry, or ashamed we can be at that given moment. And how difficult it is, sometimes, to let go of that feeling, accept it and gather the strength to get excited again. However, if we are aware that emotions and thoughts are connected, the path can be much easier for us.

If we constantly focus on what it was, what it was and how beautiful it looked, we cannot lead to imagine how it can be, how passionate it will be and how unique it is. Looking excessively at the past anchors and paralyzes us. Therefore, it is better to peek out from time to time to see how much we learned from that experience and how constructive it was for the present. Only then can you love again.